Holdup!

Ice Cream Chili Cookoff

Our ward sponsors both an ice cream social and a chili cookoff. Every year the Van De Graaff family dutifully enters both and every year we come home without an award (not even a participation ribbon). Any tips?

Stuck on Zero

This is why counting baptisms is a dumb thing to do as a missionary.

Eternal Meetings

I've been there.

If You're Not Early, You're Late

Methinks he doth protest too much.

Prophetic Beard

Let me say this about Prophets and beards: I am so grateful for David O. McKay for ending the whole beard thing in this dispensation. Just try to imagine President Nelson, President Monson, or President Hinckley with facial hair. 

Something in My Eye

I realize that strip has be light on jokes for several weeks now. (And please don't be the heckler who claims it has never been funny.) The jokes will return soon enough.