Thursday, February 22, 2018

Publicans Verses Republicans

Today's gag is likely as political as I'll ever get on this blog. I do wonder, though, if publicans will soon be more popular than republicans given Donald Trump's boorish behavior.

And now that I've effectively lost half of my readership with the previous sentence, I'll quickly change the subject.

This is the fifth gag featuring this particular set of missionaries. I feel like I should give the two of them names that match the philosophical and skeptic nature of the pair. But seeing as how Calvin and Hobbs are already taken, I'll have to keep working on that.

Monday, February 19, 2018

Parallel Universe

One of the underrated aspects of missionary service is the shear number of ridiculous conversational topics you get to engage in with your companion.

Thursday, February 15, 2018

Ward Ball at Pearly Gates

Just think how much more serious some ward basketball players would take ward ball if they only knew that their cumulative win/loss record counted in the final judgement.

Just kidding, most ward basketball players already play like their play counts towards their very exaltation.*

*Personally, I'm likely slotted for the telestial kingdom (darn 3rd Ward!).

Monday, February 12, 2018

More Valentine Sorrow

Look what comic strip is next up. It's a Valentine's Day miracle!*

*Of course, given the fact that I came up with a dozen of these "Dear John" story lines throughout Elder Van Dyke's mission, maybe it's not such a miracle after all.

Thursday, February 8, 2018

Missionary Lamentations

Valentine's Day is just around the corner, which means it's time for me to publish a gag tormenting some unsuspecting young fool. Boy, I love my job sometimes!

Monday, February 5, 2018

Run, Elder, Run

I've had bouts of exercise like this where a mile felt like 10. Not fun.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

Open Mic

Sometimes when I'm working on potential material for this website, I'll come up with an idea that is so insipid, so lame that it doesn't even meet the standards of this blog!*

Today's "jokes" are the groan-worthy type you'd expect to find on a Laffy Taffy wrapper.** Except instead of running away from that fact, I'm running toward it. Think of it like a sailboat tacking into the wind. The result is something I'm kind of proud of.

*A pretty low bar, I know.

**That may not be fair to Laffy Taffy jokes.