Thursday, May 26, 2016

Quartermaster

For those of you not familiar with the term, a quartermaster is in charge of a troop's supplies and equipment.* It's just another term the boy scouts have stolen from the military.

*Or in the case of a trip to the arcade; tokens, quarters, and other credits needed to play a game.

Monday, May 23, 2016

A Picture's Worth a Thousand Words

Some missionaries are always looking for a new way to get out of writing home.

Thursday, May 19, 2016

Goldilocks

Today's brilliant idea comes from faithful reader Emily P. How many of us have acted a little like the three bears when we've found someone already sitting on our favorite pew?

Monday, May 16, 2016

Missionary Suit: Part Three

Here's the conclusion to Elder Van Dyke's missionary suit ordeal.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Visiting Teaching

I'm sure this is why men "home teach" and women "visit teach."

Monday, May 9, 2016

Missionary Suit: Part Two

Here's the continuation of last week's suit buying experience.

Thursday, May 5, 2016

2016 Summer Movie Preview

Yesterday was May 4th, as in "May the fourth be with you," tomorrow the new Captain America movie premiers, and Saturday is free comic book day. It's a good time to be alive! It's also the perfect time to post my annual summer movie preview. (Where I don't actually preview any movies!)

As a missionary, I had the bad habit of using big, dumb tentpole movies to highlight a gospel lesson.* (Kind of like the missionary in this strip I published oh so long ago on this site.)

With this year's slate of big Hollywood films about ready to premier, I figured I'd take a stab at what tomorrow's missionaries will be gleaming from the googolplex this summer.
  • Captain America: Civil War - "The war in heaven was likely much like the battle between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, except with less special effects and funny one-liners."
  • X-Men: Apocalypse - "I haven't actually read the Book of Revelation, but I figure it must be something like that movie where the X-Men battle the four horsemen of the apocalypse."
  • Finding Dory - "Elder, if Dory can find her family then we can find a golden investigator. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
  • Ghostbusters - "Just like the Ghostbusters, you need to capture a ghost--the holy ghost. But instead of a proton pack and a containment unit, you'll need to study the scriptures and pray."
  • Jason Bourne - "Think of the veil we past through as Jason Bourne's amnesia. We've got huge reserves of untapped potential we don't even know about."**
*Who am I kidding, I still am in the habit of using big, dumb tentpole movies to higlight a gospel lesson.

**This one's actually pretty good. I think I'll use it in my next talk.