Thursday, November 20, 2014

Unemployment Benefits

The only reason this conversation hasn't taken place at my house is that my children have yet to learn about the concept of unemployment benefits.

Today's gag is featured in the November issue of the New Era.

Monday, November 17, 2014

Catching Cold

This past week sure got cold where I live. Overnight we went from mild autumn to bitter cold winter. As a missionary it was always hard to move from summer attire (short sleeve white shirts) to winter attire (heavy trench-coats over suit jackets). Perhaps I should have held out a little longer like Elder Ryan does in today's strip.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Primary Presentation

As I've had it explained to me, a ward's budget is calculated through some combination of sacrament attendance and the size of a ward's young men, young women, and primary. As far as sacrament attendance goes, wards--like television shows--have sweeps weeks. Attendance for the sacrament meetings in the third month of each quarter are counted and submitted to Church headquarters. Thus if you're going to have a meeting consisting of two outgoing missionaries and one returning missionary,* you'd better hope it falls in the month of March, June, September, or December.**

Ironically, the primary presentation (which is one of the biggest attended sacrament meetings of the year) seldom falls on a counting month. Most wards hold them in November. Perhaps this is why a desperate bishopric might be tempted to look to schedule an additional three primary presentations in a year.***

*Like our ward did.

**It did.

***Don't worry, Primary Presidents, the church handbook prohibits any such shenanigans--it clearly spells out that there shall be one presentation per year held during the fourth quarter of that year.

Monday, November 10, 2014

Burning Clothing

I know a lot of missionaries mark milestone dates on their mission by burning articles of clothing. If you're going to do something like that, please make sure you do it somewhere appropriate.

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Setting Chairs

Today's gag comes nearly verbatim from a conversation I had with faithful reader Doug K. as the two of us were setting up chairs before some sort of church meeting for the nth time. (Please note that neither of these handsome fellows look anything like Doug K. or myself--although I have featured him in another gag on this site.)

Monday, November 3, 2014

Mail Miracle

Looks like the mail drought has finally come to an end (as well as this storyline).

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Calling and Election Made Sure

And now for a different type of scary....
In the United States, Election Day is a mere five days away. The Church is very interested in members participating in the political process and has been very clear that "Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties and candidates."*

I believe that whole-heartily.

I also believe there can be some scary political monsters from every political party who would act in very much the same way as the politician in today's gag.

*From a letter from the First Presidency which should have been read in every Sacrament Meeting in the United States the past couple of weeks dated October 9, 2014.