The Great Golden Investigator

I think most missionaries are obsessed with finding a golden investigator--some are just more obsessed than others.

I realize this is a rather odd little gag. It tickled my funny bone but I wouldn't be surprised to find that I'm completely alone in that regard. Oh well, as always, you get what you pay for on this website.

A Balanced Meal

When I was a missionary, the Church gave all of us a 2-year supply of multivitamins in the MTC. Given my diet, those vitamins (along with a generous helping of missionary blessings) were the only thing that kept me alive.

(Elder Van Dyke finally gets a baptism over at deseretnews.com!)

Easter Eggs

The first year I was married I convinced my wife to dye Easter eggs the way they did it in Slovenia. We carefully gathered an assortment of leaves that we gently placed on the eggs and then we wrapped a nylon over each egg careful not to disturb the leaves. We then dipped the eggs into a pot of boiling purple cabbage with the plan that the natural dyes from the cabbage would color the eggs.

We ended up with a smelly apartment, too much cabbage to eat, and eggs that didn't change color in the slightest. Clearly I didn't pay enough attention on my mission. Since then we've only dyed with the kits.

The Joy of Cooking

After 17 years of marriage, I've become quite domesticated--I can cook a number of things. But as a missionary, I was more like Elder Van Dyke in today's strip. It's a miracle I made it two years on such a poor diet.

(Here's another strip for your consumption.)

Rest Hymns

We call them rest hymns, but really their purpose is exactly the opposite of that. Clearly we need a better name for those songs we sing two-thirds the way through Sacrament Meeting as we steel ourselves for the High Council talk yet to come. Any suggestions?

April 2014 General Conference Recap

Below is my recap to the recently concluded General Conference. I hope you find it useful.

(UPDATED: Here is a link to a pdf version of the packet for convenient printing.)

 

 

 

Man's Search for Peanut Butter

Wasn't Conference great? It was almost as good as finding peanut butter on the shelves after going 18 months without it.

Just a reminder, I'll be posting my General Conference Recap on this website later today. Please look for it. And in the meantime, please check out Kevin Beckstrom's conference sketchbook.

(Finally, Elder Van Dyke gets a baptismal commitment this week in deseretnews.com!)