Another Way to Break a Missionary's Heart

Last week's comic on "Dear Johns" elicited this comment from faithful reader Jena: "I think that the best way to Dear John a missionary is to just slowly phase out the letters."

That strategy may or may not have worked for Jena and her ex-boyfriends (you'd have to ask them), but often it leaves the missionary preoccupied with thoughts on home for weeks or months on end--as this week's comic strip demonstrates.

Next week, I'll share the more-effective way (to steal a phrase from the old Missionary Guide) to Dear John a missionary.

Kids These Days and Their Darn Phones

Originally, this joke just included the sacrifice bit, then I came up with the service line. It's like two jokes in one.

Subjects of the Heart

One of the ideas I had as I created my missionary comic strip was to have every companion Elder Van Dyke served with get "Dear Johned" while working with him. Due to this, getting assigned in a companionship with Van Dyke would be a punishment to the missionaries in the field. Elder Van Dyke became known as the mission curse.

Executing this idea became a huge challenge. It was a real struggle coming up with a dozen different ways to get dumped. Still some of them turned out well. I particularly like this one.

Anyway, with Valentine's Day just around the corner, what better time than to share a couple of these "Dear John" comics with you.

Another Boy Scout Joke

It's never a good thing to feel the need to explain a joke, but apparently The New Era didn't get it--they didn't buy this (or if they did, they didn't think it was funny). Anyway, from what I remember from Boy Scouts, I had to have my parents or my Young Men leaders stick my feet to the fire if I was to accomplish anything. So when I heard that there was a merit badge named "Personal Management," I laughed to myself. Boy Scouts earning a Personal Management merit badge, as if.

Then again, maybe I'm not the best person to judge a Boy Scout's internal drive. As it has been mentioned in the comments of this blog several times, I never advanced to Eagle Scout (as I type this, my head is hung in shame).

Hopefully, I won't have to try and find a new job while the economy is in its current state. According to every story I heard in Boy Scouts: during the depression, earning your Eagle Scout was the sole difference between getting a job or not.

Missionary Conversations

When you spend 24 hours a day with a person, you end up covering a wide range of conversations. And, hate to say it, but 19 and 20 year old boys aren't always the most stimulating of conversationalist. I don't remember if I ever had this particular conversation on my mission, but it wouldn't surprise me--there's only so many times you can discuss the merits of Optimus Prime versus Voltron in a steel cage battle to the death.

The Deep Doctrine

This one is based on a true story. A couple of weeks ago, I was trying to build a cabinet-thingie that we'd purchased over the internet that came in a big box and required some assembly. I spent a couple of hours in complete frustration as I attempted follow the instructions in putting the thing together.

It was in the midst of some dark thoughts about the furniture, my skills as a carpenter, and the universe in general; that I came up with this gag. And, suddenly, my struggles were worth it.

And it wasn't until my wife helped me with the cabinet that we were able to finish it. Encouraging me that maybe I could make it to the Celestial Kingdom (but I couldn't make it there alone).

Mormon Cinema

My sentiments are with Elder Toms all the way on this one.

If you've never seen The Phone Call, I recommend you check it out. I'm convinced that it is the major influence behind Napoleon Dynamite.