Teaching by Hymns

While I have heard of scores of missionaries who did this, I was never asked to myself. (Good thing, too, as my singing surely would have driven away the spirit.)

Ineffective Door Approach

My brother tells a story about teaching an investigator who latched onto the idea of a terrestrial kingdom. This guy was super excited to learn that there was a place for the mostly good. He promptly quit meeting with the missionaries content in the hope that he'd end up there. Sometimes even the best parts of the gospel fall on deaf ears. (And sometimes, they can't hear those parts due to the cries from their children.)

Mixed Signals

This is not the response you want as a missionary to this particular message.

Horns

I've heard of people who knew people who had this happen to them, but I'm not sure I've ever met anyone who had this happen to them.

The Hard Sell

I've commented on this website before, and will probably do so again, but I can't imagine ever going into door-to-door sales. It was hard enough when I was pitching a product I believed in with all my heart as a full-time missionary.

Busy

This is what I imagined many of the people who told me they were too busy to hear our message were doing when we came a knockin'.

Decisions, Decisions...

On the one hand, solar panels pay for themselves somewhere between 6 and 15 years. On the other hand, Mosiah 2:22-24 states that if you serve God, "He doth immediately bless you; and therefore he hath paid you."

Mistaken Identity

As a missionary, I too, was mistaken for a Catholic priest, a CIA agent, a cop, and a member of the Amish community (more times than I'd like to admit--all due to the Harrison Ford movie Witness (Slovene subtitles replaced any mention of the Amish with Mormons)). Although, I never was mistaken for a Hare Krishna, even though I once sported an unfortunately short haircut.

Hard Reset

I think we could all use a reset button from time to time.

Wrong Door Approach

Maybe workshop that door approach before the next apartment.

Mercenaries at the Door

This is based on a true story. Once while tracting, a voice behind the door asked who we were. My companion explained that we were missionaries, at which point the door flung open and the homeowner asked, "who did you say you were?" Once we again explained who we were, she said "oh, I thought you said mercenaries" and then promptly shut the door again.

We figured we were fortunate to get away from the house. What kind of people open their doors to mercenaries but shut them for missionaries?

Dragon's Burning Bossom

Years ago* I submitted a gag to the New Era of a pair of smoldering missionaries exiting a dragon's lair (where the dragon is sitting on a pile of ill-gotten treasure) with one commenting to the other "The lesson was going well right up until we got to the part about tithing." The magazine purchased the gag and never published it (which is why it has never appeared on this blog). 

Since then, I've been dying to include a dragon/missionary comic on this site. Today, that itch has finally been scratched.

*Thirteen years, to be exact.

Disjointed Messenger

I've been there.

Penrose Stairs

The particular optical illusion featured in today's gag is called the "Penrose stairs" named after its creator Lionel Stairs. The Penrose stairs were later made famous by the graphic artist M. C. Escher (whose art style I have attempted to ape in today's comic).

Having knocked on hundreds, if not thousands, of doors as a missionary, I'm pretty sure I tracted a couple of these as a missionary.

Big Dog

This is a very large dog.

The Next Door

Can I make a confession? I totally made up the 1,200 door thing. But it totally sounds like something someone in the MTC would make up too.

Success!

Sometimes tracting feels like this.

Tracting Games Continued

The only problem with the tracting games my companions and I created: sometimes they were so fun we didn't want someone expressing interest in out message disrupting our flow.

Tracting Games

On my mission, my companions and I concocted a number of games to play while tracting (probably a great sign that we were doing too much tracting). Among those games included tracting bingo and our own version of Blackjack.

Making Progress

I must have knocked on tens of thousands of doors as a missionary. (Not at all the most effective way to proselyte, I know.) There were days where a response like the one the lady gives at the end of this gag would have been reason for celebration.