Zombie at the Pulpit

I had such an incredible response this week that I had to break up your captions into three images.

Credits:

…serve God… (abby.vdg)

FTOYWDKM, let’s connect... (Anonymous)

I trace my pioneer... (Anonymous)

FTOYWDKM, that’s probably... (jena_vdg)

I can't wait... (Christy Hasenoehrl Lloyd)

As a dyslexic zombie... (Steve Howarth)

FTOYWDKM, you probably... (The Jack of all Carrs)

I’m up here... (hockeyaid4)

Brothers and sisters... (Anonymous)

I know Church... (Miranda Sparish)

Coming this October… (The Jack of all Carrs)

Credits:

Welp, we’ve got... (Ethan Hall)

Leave it to our bishop... (Eric Lee Nelson)

Maybe baptisms... (Marc Feickert)

I’ve never heard.. (Jeff Grvs)

Wow! Not even death... (Sonny)

When I heard… (Elizabeth Francis Peterson)

The scariest thing... (ericvdg)

Best testimony... (Chris Brown)

Talk about… (Anonymous)

Yo, what's up… (The Jack of all Carrs)

How long… (Sonny)

Credits:

Maybe asking… (Josh Leal)

Bishop, I'm not sure... (TR Nichols)

The meeting's only… (Matthew Bird)

Do you think… (Phil Shell)

His testimony… (Rand Benjamin Einfeldt)

Someone forgot... (Sandy Cooper Larson)

I wonder if they're... (Cade Bushnell)

Talk about... (Misty Zaebst)

When they said... (Phillip Lundgreen)

Is this talk... (Natalie Edwards Johnson)

Are you sure… (Fred Van Weerd)

Missionary Curfews

Today's gag features a homage to what might be my favorite recurring character from Kevin Beckstrom's website: the mission president. He's published dozens of these gags over the years although his version of the mission president never looks quite as angry as mine. He's also never had to deal with a vampire and werewolf companionship before either (although he has had a number of zombies*).

*Which isn't surprising if you follow Kevin's work (which you totally should).

Caption Contest: Zombie at the Pulpit

Help me come up with another Halloween-themed gag. Give me your best caption to this comic. I'm closing submissions end of day Thursday.

Book of Abraham Manuscript

Poor Elders Hammer and King have been at it for so long that they are now teaching all the Universal monsters for a second or third time.

FTOYWDKM Halloween!

I'm sure none of you are surprised to see a Halloween-themed FTOYWDKM gag. Believe me that while the characters featured in today's post might be scary, any talk that starts with FTOYWDKM is terrifying!

Pioneers and Zombies Page 4

And that's a wrap. Thanks for indulging me as I tried something different here. Creating this short story was a lot of fun.

Pioneers and Zombies Page 3

Pioneers and Zombies Page 2

Yesterday was all about setting the stage, now the good stuff happens! You should know that this short story has been methodically researched (although certain creative liberties might have been used).

Pioneers and Zombies Page 1

(Conference was great. Be sure to check out Kevin Beckstrom's illustrated notes.)

Before I ever started doing single panel gags, before I started doing comic strips, before I started doing activity pages; I was drawing comic books. I started in elementary school and continued throughout high school to entertain myself and my friends.

This week I'm returning to my roots. For the next four days, I'll be publishing a special Halloween-themed comic book short story. I hope you enjoy.

Lift Where You Stand

Today's gag comes from a General Conference talk from 17 years ago.* This blog is timely as ever! (Look for my takedown of TikTok in 2046.)

It's appropriate that such an old message would be quoted by these particular missionaries since they've been serving in the Transylvania Central Mission for nearly that long.

*Seriously, though, I am dumbfounded that we first heard Elder Uchtdorf's counsel to "lift where you stand nearly two decades ago. That talk has been around longer than the target audience of this website (although kids these days are too busy looking at YouTube to ever find it).

Law of Consecration

I'm really proud of myself that I managed to come up with a Brigham Young gag that had nothing to do with polygamy. 

Brother Brigham is easily the most featured latter-day prophet on this website. I really hope he has a sense of humor.

Fishers of Men

It's October, which means it is time to check in on Elders Hammer and King who now have served for 14 years in the Transylvania Central mission. One more year and they'll beat the Sons of Mosiah's record!

Frankenstein's Intro

The fact that the Monster in Mary Shelley's novel has become known as Frankenstein must drive him crazy. The Monster despised Victor Frankenstein with a murderous passion. Today, I offer three better names to choose from.

Boris Karloff (1887-1969) famously played Frankenstein in numerous movies (as well as the Grinch in the original How the Grinch Stole Christmas holiday special).

Charles Addams (1912-1988) first created the recurring characters that became known as the Addam's Family for the New Yorker in 1938. 

Mary Shelley (1797-1851) wrote Frankenstein; or, The Modern Prometheus in 1818.

Halloween Sacrament

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Experiment Upon the Word

Elders Hammer and King are back! And just in time for Halloween. These poor missionaries called to the Transylvania Central Mission have tracted into and taught just about every monster, creature, or mad scientist you can imagine (or at least I can imagine--after nearly two dozen of these, I don't know how many more I have left in me). 

Just think of the homecoming talks they'll be able to give! (And the years of counseling that will follow.)

Pumpkin Decorating on a Budget

My wife and I were once in charge of a ward Christmas party where the budget had long been spent. Let me tell you, there were a lot of unhappy ward members that morning.*

*For one thing, we moved our catered dinner to a potluck breakfast.

Tricking the Trick or Treaters

Sometimes it is best to just turn off the porch light and pretend not to be home.

Pretty Scary Costume

Let's give it up to the least popular guy in the entire stake!

Trick or Treat

Usually, it is the kids pulling the tricks on Halloween.

Dracula's House of Worship

At first he was excited about the general lack of crucifixes in the building...Poor guy is destined to life his afterlife without religion.