Marathon

Elder Van Dyke is right. A mission is a marathon. And not one of those with a gentle downhill slope designed to qualify as many as possible for the Boston Marathon, but one with lots of up and down hills, occasionally beautiful scenery, and water stations that are a little further apart then they ought to be. And yet somehow it's all worth it.

Seminary Dilema

Poor guy. I once had a seminary teacher who, when one of his students fell asleep during a lecture, picked up a brick behind his lectern and threw it at the sleeping student. For a brief moment, the class thought we were witnessing a murder. We were soon relieved to realize that the brick was made out of harmless foam. We all shared a good laugh (and never fell asleep in the class again).

Companionship Trouble

Sometimes dealing with a companion is hard. And sometimes even a clueless 19-year-old boy can pick up on nonverbal cues.

Beatitudes

Today's gag could be a still from any number of high school rom-coms. You'll notice the reasonable girl is wearing glasses, has her hair pulled back, and is hugging her textbook defensively. Rest assured by the end of the movie, she'll have gone through a makeover catching the eye of the popular guy with hidden depth. Meanwhile, her so-called "friend" with beatitude will throw a wrench in the blossoming romance out of jealousy and spite. In the end, though, love conquers all!

I just gave you 90 minutes of your life you would have otherwise wasted on this cliche-ridden story. You're welcome.

Missing an Older Sibling

Clearly today's strip was drawn a long time ago. Stereos don't have the cachet they used to have. When my older brother left for his mission, he gave detailed instructions that no one was to touch his stereo. After a year of service, though, his heart was softened and he gave me permission to carefully take it out of storage and use it. It was a good thing, too, since I had already been listening to it for six months by then.

Dear John in the 21st Century

I knew a couple of missionaries who when getting "Dear Johned" gathered all the letters, gifts, and clothing given them by their now former girlfriends and burned them in a giant bonfire. Now that missionaries communicate almost exclusively via email, it has gotten a lot harder to exercise an ex.

Today's gag continues a tradition on this website I like to call the anti-Valentine's Day gag. (See examples here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.)

On the Homefront

Heavenly Choirs

How much practice time does a heavenly choir put into their art? Who arranges their music? Who conducts? Do they do old Rogers and Hammerstein show tunes like the Tabernacle Choir? I guess I'll add this to the list of questions I'm going to get answered in the next life.