Without Purse or Scrip

Today's gag comes from an idea suggested by faithful reader Mandy P.* I had a companion like this, except his approach was to spend his monthly allotted funds as quickly as possible to enjoy the promised scriptural blessings associated with going without purse or scrip.

*If you would like the honor (?) of seeing one of your gags drawn and published on this website, send me an email. I should make it clear that there is no guarantee that I'll use your joke, that I won't twist it into something else, or that it will happen in a timely fashion. But if I do publish your joke, I will give you credit (or blame, depending on your personal view of this website). And please, don't expect any monetary reward for your efforts.

Transfer Call

I was tempted a couple of times to try something like this on my mission.

Kids Say the Darndest Things

I have a confession to make. And in doing so, I realize that I might loose any respect a number of you might have for me. Ready? (Deep breath, Arie.)

Growing up, I used to like the single-panel comic strip The Family Circus.

I know, I know, I really don't have any good explanation. Maybe it was better in the early 1980s or (more likely) maybe I was less discernible at a young age and hadn't realized that Keane was repeating the same half dozen jokes over and over again.*

At any rate, I share my shame with you today because today's gag--which appears in this month's New Era--reminds me a great deal of a Family Circus gag. Had I placed it in a circle and given the child an abnormally large head, you might not even know the difference.
*Those six jokes include 1) the "Not Me" ghost, 2) Billy getting distracted and taking a convoluted path to complete a simple task (these were my favorite), 3) kids say the darndest things (of which category today's gag falls into), 4) angel Grandpa keeps an eye on his brood, 5) Billy fills in for Dad and makes a lot of puns, and 6) come to think of it, maybe he only had five jokes.

The Osmonds

I want you to know that I've posted nearly 250 LDS-themed gags to this blog and that today's strip is only the third time I've published an Osmond-themed joke. I think I'm doing pretty good.

Return Missionary Dance Moves

Today’s gag makes me think of the numerous talks given in last week’s General Conference urging the young single adult men of the Church to be anxiously engaged in getting engaged. The whole thing makes me smile because, as a happily married husband, I can look back on my single years with fondness.*

The one time in my life that I went to a dance club was a few days after I came home from my mission. I went at the insistence of an old mission companion. It was probably the most harmless dance club in the world (located in Provo, Utah in the heart of BYU), but to me it was terrifying. Not just because I couldn’t dance, but because to my addled RM mind all the girls there were predators.

I especially remember one girl visiting with me a little bit and then offering me a piece of gum. I made some excuse and hi-tailed it out of there because I was sure her gum was just some ploy to get me to kiss her or something. When in actuality, she was probably just offering some gum.

I guess my point in sharing this story is to tell the young single adults of the Church that I’ve been there and I know how hard it can be some times and I wish you the best. Oh, and, girls, don’t offer recently returned missionaries gum--they hate that!

*Mostly because tragedy plus time equals comedy.

Booze Versus Heaven

Don't worry, Janez is just messing with the missionaries (I think).

On an artistic note, check out the hands of Elder Meyer in the second panel. I must have drawn this strip years ago, because I never draw someone with five fingers anymore. The funny thing is I look at that second panel now and he looks off--like he's grown extra digits on both of his hands.

Hey, there's another place on the web were you can view my cartoons! And this time they're in Portuguese! Just go to BrasilSUD.com.br. (At least I assume they are my cartoons, for all I know they've replaced my captions with sections from phone book.)

Not That Kind of Text

Thanks to cell phones, kids these days have so many forms of distraction Sundays during the block. Why in my day, the only distraction I had if a lesson dragged on was the map section in the back of my bible.

April 2011 General Conference Recap

Here's your 4-page General Conference Recap. Now you don't have to worry about a lesson for Family Home Evening.

And, after you're done here, be sure to stop on by my cartoonist friend Kevin Beckstrom's blog for his take on conference.

UPDATE: Sugardoodle has a pdf version of the recap here.

Missionaries' Pay

I'm planning on posting my General Conference Recap sometime later this afternoon. That way, you won't have to worry about a Family Home Evening lesson tonight.