Left Hand/Right Hand

At least she took something from scripture study.

General Conference Campout

Here's your gentle reminder to print off the Ward Cartoonist General Conference Activity Packet before this weekend.

Scalped

I'm publishing this one for my children who never miss an opportunity to remind me that I don't have as much hair as I used to.

Social Media

If we had to give up the extremely catchy "Follow the Prophet" song to get rid of social media, so be it.

Accountable

For years, I've fought comparisons to the chronically unfunny Family Circus. And yet, I've produced enough of these kids say the darndest things type gags that my protests are beginning to sound hollow. At least I haven't resorted to illustrating the "Not Me" ghost.

Father's Day or Son Day?

I can see how this boy could get confused (along with his sisters too). But fathers do just enough to reward them with one day a year where they can show off their barbecuing skills without threat of mockery. We call this Father's Day.

Today's gag comes from the fertile mind of Parker V.

Forgive All Men

This might be the only scripture offended parties need to memorize too.

Today's gag matches up nicely with next week's Come, Follow Me curriculum. You know what else matches up nicely with the Come, Follow Me curriculum? My weekly activity page newsletter. If you have young kids at home or teach primary and haven't yet subscribed, you are missing out on a great resource. Enroll in the newsletter here.

Admission to the School of the Prophets

Of course, University of Utah fans like to claim that their school is the "school of the prophets"--that is when they are not bragging about their recent head to head football record against BYU. (Not even Egypt had to endure more than seven years of famine.)

Once again, I was invited to guest host Cedar Fort's Come, Follow Me with David Ridges podcast. (When will they learn?) You can listen to the episode here. We're discussing Doctrine and Covenants sections 58-59.

Chess

This joke was old when I published it over a decade ago in my book Mormon Life. It's absolutely ancient now. I know absolutely nothing about chess, but I remember spending a long time trying to line up the board to reflect a potential chess move with all the pieces in squares where they could hypothetically be. I'm sure someone smarter than me could tell me how well I succeeded.

Leftovers

Is there an official Church policy on praying for leftovers? At what point do we need to repray over a piece of food? Say an important piece of business takes me away from the dinner table right after the family has said grace. When I come back 30 minutes later, nobody would expect me to pray over my food again. Yet, most of us would agree that it is completely appropriate to pray again over that same food 24 hours later. Do food prayers reset after midnight? Once something goes into the fridge? The microwave?

Surely Bruce R. McConkie had some thoughts on this. Any chance he wrote about it in Mormon Doctrine?

Nephite Social Media

This one falls into the category of "kids say the darndest things." 

(Sorry.)

Sacrament Inventory

I've recently taken to doing this very thing. And, yes, I figure I won't run out of things to work on for quite some time.

Forbidden Vegetable

Oh, Dolly and Jeffy, you kids certainly get into the funniest situations don't you? Maybe you can feed the broccoli to Barfy and, if questioned about it, blame it on the "Not Me" ghost.

Oh, wait, the panel is a rectangle and not a circle. And the kids' heads aren't hugely disproportionate to their bodies. I'm sorry, I mistook today's gag for someone else's.

Counting Lost Sheep

What is it about sheep that made them the go-to animal to count when someone wants to go to sleep? Why not cows? Or sloths? Or turtles?

Today's gag came out of my family's study of Come, Follow Me. In addition to this joke, I'm also producing an activity page every week that corresponds to the Come, Follow Me curriculum. If this is something you might be interested in, sign up for the Ward Cartoonist Activity Page Newsletter. You'll find all the information about the newsletter here.

Accountable

Between today's gag and last week's gag, it is clear that school is on my mind. I wonder what life will be like without the rhythms of the school year controlling my life. Outside of the first five years of fatherhood, my life has been dictated by school seasons.

Never Been Cleaner

Our youngest tried this on us after his baptism. Needless to say, my wife and I were just as skeptical as the mother in today's gag. At least in our case, it resulted in another post to this website.

Non-Profit Not Anti-Mormon

I'd better hope that isn't what non-profit means as I work for one too.

John the What Now?

Today's gag falls into a category of comics I sadly consider Family Circus-like. If Keane was Mormon. And drew his kids with smaller heads. And dressed them in clothes that didn't come from the 1950s. And paneled his work in a rectangle instead of a circle.

They can't all be winners.

Oh, How Praying Rests the Weary

Today's gem of an idea comes from faithful reader Felicia G. who wonders why we don't see more people falling asleep during the invocation of sacrament meeting.

Seventy Times Seven

At the risk of alienating all of my readers, here's another "Kids Say the Darndest Things" post. (For the third week in a row!) This one was featured in the March 2015 issue of the New Era.