Popping Wheelies

More adventures with Elder Van Dyke and his bike. Poor kid.

Dragon's Burning Bossom

Years ago* I submitted a gag to the New Era of a pair of smoldering missionaries exiting a dragon's lair (where the dragon is sitting on a pile of ill-gotten treasure) with one commenting to the other "The lesson was going well right up until we got to the part about tithing." The magazine purchased the gag and never published it (which is why it has never appeared on this blog). 

Since then, I've been dying to include a dragon/missionary comic on this site. Today, that itch has finally been scratched.

*Thirteen years, to be exact.

Field is White

Some of my most memorable times as a missionary were doing service. In one area, my companion and I volunteered at an orphanage where we simply played with preschool kids for a couple of hours a week. Many of the children suffered from physical ailments in conditions that, more than anything else on my mission, felt like Soviet-era living. It was incredibly rewarding service for us.

In another area, my companion and I taught an after school English class at the local elementary school. In both cases, the service was strictly for service sake. The only proselyting we did was (hopefully) the example we set.

Oscar Mayer

I love the idea that some kid might hear that particular verse and interpret it this way.

Smile

I learned a trick to a good smile as a missionary: you open your mouth as wide as you can first and then the smile comes naturally. The only problem is when the door you just knocked opens before you're done with the mouth exercise and the person on the other side of the door is staring at your uvula.

The Theory of Relativity

To be clear, this never happened.

At least, I'm pretty sure the missionaries never taught Albert Einstein a lesson on a park bench. Do you know who did have gospel discussions with him though? President Eyring's father. Henry Eyring was a world renowned chemist who worked with Einstein at Princeton. And while I'm writing about Dr. Eyring and Albert Einstein, let me share with you a funny story found in Dr. Eyring's memoir.

Erying recounted walking with Einstein around campus and wrote the following:"At noon we walked out into what had been a rose garden, but in wartime had been replanted as a victory garden. Now, I'm a farmer from Pima, so I guessed what the crop was, but I didn't know whether Einstein knew or not. So I picked up a plant and asked him what it was. He didn't know. I asked [the gardener] what it was. He said, "They're soybeans."

"Well, I though what you would have thought: "Einstein doesn't know beans." (Reflections of a Scientist, Henry Eyring, 1983, Deseret Book Company: Salt Lake City).

Fishing for Mail

To be clear, this never happened.

Shazam!

Today is May 4 (as in "May the fourth be with you"), tomorrow is the premiere of arguably the most anticipated superhero movie of the year (Guardians of the Galaxy 3), and Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. So now is as good a time as ever to publish my annual Summer Movie Preview (where I don't actually talk much about movies, but rather delve into geek culture).

Honestly, after being all into superheroes, sci-fi, and fantasy for decades, I'm not feeling it much this year. The last couple of Marvel movies have felt more like chores than something to be enjoyed (I don't think I've really loved a superhero movie since Avengers: Endgame, which was four years ago). I haven't even bothered to see Shazam 2* yet and I doubt I'll ever get around to seeing Black Adam.

The recently completed season of Mandalorian left me underwhelmed and the Book of Boba Fett and the Last Skywalker left such a bad taste in my mouth that years later I'm still mouthwashing. 

I watched the Rings of Powers and it was okay, I guess, I just wish Jeff Bezos had made better use of all the money he took from my family's Amazon purchases and made something a little more memorable.

That isn't to say I haven't enjoyed all geek culture stuff this past year. Andor was the best Star Wars I think I've ever seen (it, more than anything, probably ruined the third season of the Mandalorian for me). Strange New Worlds is easily the best Star Trek since Deep Space Nine. And I had a lot of fun watching Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves. Finally, let me give a plug for Lockwood & Co. a Netflix series that follows a band of teenage ghostbusters in London that was one of my favorite things to watch this past year (and whose fate still hangs in the balance as Netflix still is deciding whether or not to renew it for a second season--#savelockwood).

Here's the thing, though, if I were to rank my top three favorite movies I've seen over the past year, they'd probably be, in no particular order: Mr. Malcolm's List (a Jane Austen-type Victorian love story), Rosaline (a irreverent retelling of Romeo and Juliet), and A Man Called Otto (a Tom Hanks weeper). Clearly I need help. I feel like Peter Parker midway through Spider-Man 2. I need my mojo back, give me some recommendations, please.

*Shazam really should be called Captain Marvel. That's the character's name and he had it long before Marvel's Captain Marvel. Captain Marvel (aka, the Big Red Cheese) was created in the 1930s, DC Comics sued its publisher for the similarities between Captain Marvel and Superman, DC Comics won the suit, eventually purchased the character, then inexplicably failed to copyright the name Captain Marvel. Seeing a chance to stick it to his number one competitor, Stan Lee of Marvel Comics then copyrighted the name for his company and thus Carol Danvers was born.**

**Well not exactly. There were actually a couple of Captain Marvels before Carol Danvers took the mantle. Comics are convoluted.

Job Had It Easy

You'd probably be surprised the number of times I've wished that the Old Testament character of Job had a different name. The problem lies when I want to shorthand reference him, but because his name is spelled the same way as a job (noun, 1. a piece of work done as part of one's occupation or for a price), that sometimes gets tricky. And by the time I explain which job I mean in the gag ("You know Job like the guy in the Old Testament not the kind of thing you do for work"), the joke is often ruined. 

Fortunately, his name didn't seriously impact today's strip.