2025 Summer Movie Preview

Summer movies are right around the corner (Thunderbolts* is in theaters as early as tonight). This Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. It's time to publish my yearly summer movie preview!**

For the longest time I referred to the group of missionaries Alma recruits in Alma 31 as the Dream Team (named after the USA Olympic Basketball team of 1992). Like that basketball team, Alma's missionary force had a number of powerful missionaries who did amazing things on their own. And like the Basketball Dream Team, Alma's team also included an out-of-place end of the bench guy in Alma's son Corianton.***

Recently, thought, I've been referring to Alma's missionary force as the Avengers, a super power group who join forces for a special mission.

But now, I'm thinking the best name for the band of missionaries that Alma takes with him to preach to the Zoramites might be the Thunderbolts (without the asterisk, please!). The whole gimmick of the Thunderbolts is that they were all various levels of villains before turning to the light. Likewise, pretty much everyone in Alma's group (with the exception of his son Shiblon) had a lot of repenting to do in their lives. Now we just need to find out if the Thunderbolts* are as good as Alma and Amulek's back to back sermons found in Alma 32-34.

*This isn't actually a footnote, the movie's title strangely includes an asterisk--a terrible thing for a blogger who's been using them for years. 

**A Summer Movie Preview that in 15 years has never actually previewed any movies.

***For the Basketball Dream Team, the out-of-place bench guy was Christian Laettner, one of the most accomplished college basketball players ever who was selected over more worthy NBA players when the powers to be decided that the team had to have at least one amateur on the roster.

*Again, not a footnote.

2024 Summer Movie Preview

So the whole superhero movie thing seems to be dying out. Just five years after Avengers: Endgame made all the money ($2.7 billion!), Marvel is only releasing once movie this year (the very R-rated Deadpool & Wolverine. Something none of my readers are going to see, right?). Superhero fatigue is real. There is a reason a movie about a doll was the number one movie of 2023 instead of another edition of Ant-Man.

These things happen. Just look at the history of comics themself for a helpful example. In the 1960s Marvel Comics was firing on all cylinders with Jack Kirby, Steve Ditko, and Stan Lee creating dozens of classic characters. Yet by the 1990s Marvel Comics were overrun with ridiculous shoulder pads, far too many pouches, and tiny, tiny feet. (Click on these links for some examples, you won't be sorry.)

Or look at Hollywood Westerns. From 1945 to 1965 Westerns were big business making up roughly a quarter of studio output (per Wikipedia). Today, the only person who seems to care about Westerns is Kevin Costner.

Genres wax and wane. Superhero movies had an incredible run. Maybe they are dying or maybe these past couple of years have just been a lull and they'll rebound stronger than ever. Whatever happens, I'll be there to post a Summer Movie Preview that doesn't actually talk about summer movies.

Superman's Baptismal Date

I've once covered which superheroes would be interested in baptism previously on this website, although that post didn't include Kal-El. It took me nearly seven years, but it looks like I finally got around to answering the question of his interest in the gospel.

Today's gag comes from the fertile mind of faithful reader Elder V.

2016 Summer Movie Preview

Yesterday was May 4th, as in "May the fourth be with you," tomorrow the new Captain America movie premiers, and Saturday is free comic book day. It's a good time to be alive! It's also the perfect time to post my annual summer movie preview. (Where I don't actually preview any movies!)

As a missionary, I had the bad habit of using big, dumb tentpole movies to highlight a gospel lesson.* (Kind of like the missionary in this strip I published oh so long ago on this site.)

With this year's slate of big Hollywood films about ready to premier, I figured I'd take a stab at what tomorrow's missionaries will be gleaming from the googolplex this summer.

• Captain America: Civil War - "The war in heaven was likely much like the battle between Steve Rogers and Tony Stark, except with less special effects and funny one-liners."
• X-Men: Apocalypse - "I haven't actually read the Book of Revelation, but I figure it must be something like that movie where the X-Men battle the four horsemen of the apocalypse."
• Finding Dory - "Elder, if Dory can find her family then we can find a golden investigator. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
• Ghostbusters - "Just like the Ghostbusters, you need to capture a ghost--the holy ghost. But instead of a proton pack and a containment unit, you'll need to study the scriptures and pray."
• Jason Bourne - "Think of the veil we past through as Jason Bourne's amnesia. We've got huge reserves of untapped potential we don't even know about."**

*Who am I kidding, I still am in the habit of using big, dumb tentpole movies to higlight a gospel lesson.

**This one's actually pretty good. I think I'll use it in my next talk.

2015 Summer Movie Preview

Tomorrow Avengers: Age of Ultron premières marking the beginning of a very promising summer movie season.* But it’s not the movies I want to see that I want to write about today, instead it’s a movie series I doubt I’ll ever watch.

What is the deal with the Fast and the Furious?

In case you haven’t heard, the seventh Fast and Furious movie, which came out last month, has already made over $1 billion worldwide! It’s now the fifth largest grossing movie of all time! And it’s about a bunch of meatheads who drive cars fast!**

What is wrong with moviegoers? This movie has made more than Raiders of the Lost Ark, more than The Empire Strikes Back, more than The Singles Ward. Again it’s about a bunch of meatheads who drive cars fast!

The thing is, I now wonder if I should watch it. Is it worth my time? And do I have to watch the first six (!) movies in the series before I watch number seven? Surely, some of my readers have seen this movie. I’d love your feedback.

*Here’s the list of movies I’m excited to see this summer (in no particular order): Avengers, Jurassic World, Tommorowland, Inside Out, Ant-Man, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., and Fantastic Four.

**I imagine every line of dialog in the Fast and Furious movies ends in an explanation point!

2014 Summer Movie Preview

Even though the unofficial start of summer doesn't begin for another three and a half weeks (Memorial Day) and the official start of summer doesn't begin for another month and a half (summer solstice); in Hollywood, summer starts this weekend! This is the time of year where movies become more loud, dumb, and silly (although discerning movie goers can still find loud, dumb, and silly movies throughout the rest of the year, if they know where to look).

In conjunction with the start of the summer movie season, this Saturday is Free Comic Book Day! And Sunday, May 4th is Star Wars Day (as in "May the 4th be with you"). We know that eventually the meek shall inherit the earth, until then it looks like the geek shall care for it.

So it is with great pain that I confess that I am not looking forward to this summer's cinematic offerings all that much. Perhaps it's because the best summer movie of 2014 came out a month ago* or perhaps it's because I'm growing up (nah), but I doubt I'll get out to the theater more than two or three times this summer.

Please help me out, what should I be excited for?

*I'm referring, of course, to Noah.**

**No, just joking, I just wanted to get a rise out of my good cartooning buddy, Kevin. The best summer movie of 2014 was Captain America 2.

2013 Summer Movie Preview

This is the post where I celebrate the number of big, mindless movies coming out this summer* as well as remind you that this Saturday is Free Comic Book Day.

When one thinks as much as I do about both Super Heroes and the LDS Church, the thought of which Super Heroes might join the Church naturally comes up. Below is my take on this critical issue:

• Iron Man: No. The guy likes to drink too much to adhere to the Word of Wisdom (arguably his most famous comic book storyline involved Tony Stark's decent into alcoholism).
• Batman: No. While the concept of eternal family would, no doubt, appeal to orphaned Bruce Wayne; candidates must show a little more of a willingness to forgive than Batman would be comfortable with before entering the water's of baptism.
• Shazam: No. Shazam, aka Captain Marvel, aka "The Big Red Cheese" would readily accept the gospel. The only problem is, while Shazam is older than the age of accountability, his alter ego, Billy Batson, is not.
• Captain America: Yes. See last year's post.
• Hellboy**, Ghost Rider, Spawn: Please.
• Thor, Hercules, Wonder Woman: No. They'd find it hard to give up their Norse and Greek Gods seeing as how, um, they are them.

Sadly, the Super Hero world doesn't look ready for the gospel.

*There is a ridiculous number of movies I'm excited for this summer including: Star Trek into Darkness, Iron Man 3, Man of Steel, Pacific Rim, Lone Ranger, Monsters University, The Wolverine, and World War Z. I'm going to have to start saving money now.

**Or, as we like to call him in our family: Heckboy.

2012 Summer Movie Preview

Tomorrow (as any nerd worth the tape holding his glasses together could tell you) is the opening of The Avengers! And Saturday is Free Comic Book Day. To celebrate I'm posting today's gag.

I love me some superhero movie and this Summer's one/two punch of Avengers and Dark Knight Rises has me especially giddy.*

How about you? What are you looking forward to in the coming months at your local Googolplex?

*Although, strangely, I'm not at all excited about the new Spider-Man movie coming out this Summer. Everything I've seen with that reboot has left me underwhelmed.

2011 Summer Movie Post

(Warning: the following post is going to be quite geeky.)

Tomorrow is the opening day of the movie Thor, the first of four* major superhero movies coming out this summer. And Saturday is Free Comic Book Day.

To celebrate these two things, I'm posting today's gag starring Elder Banner (otherwise known as the Incredible Hulk), everyone's second favorite superhero named Bruce.**

*Five, if you count The Help.

**It has always fascinated me that comicdom has two heroes named Bruce (the other being, of course, Bruce Wayne--aka, Batman).*** Especially, since Bruce is such an uncommon name otherwise. According to the Social Security Administration website, Bruce was only the 465th most popular boy's name in 2009 with only 579 boys given that name that year in the United States. That means--according to my calculations--if you want your son to grow up to be a superhero, your best bet is to name him Bruce. Odds are 289.5 to one that your Bruce will grow up into a hero. Naming your son Clark (Superman) is probably your next best bet at 332 to one. After that your odds go down considerably. Peter (Spider-Man) is at 1,981 to one; Logan (Wolverine) is at 14,331 to one; and Tony (Ironman) is at 16,139 to one.

Honesty, you'd be better off having a girl. Just don't name her Diana (Wonder Woman); the odds of that name producing a superhero are a pedestrian 1,934 to one. Instead, try Barbara (Batgirl) at 444 to one or Susan (Invisible Woman) at 368 to one. Your best bet might be to name your daughter Shayera (Hawkgirl)--her name didn't even chart! (Of course, you'll have to deal with the unfortunate possibility that she'll sprout wings at some point.)

***I warned you that this would be an especially nerdy post.