Priorities

When I first came up with this strip many, many years ago, Gilligan's Island was the perfect TV show to represent the kind of low-stakes television that an investigator might struggle to give up in order to hear the message of the gospel. Since then, though, Gilligan's Island is no longer in our collective consciousness (it is, after all, over 50 years old now). There has got to be an old TV show that better fits this strip today: Saved By the Bell? Fresh Prince of Bell Air? Friends?

Church's Next Move

2018 really has been a year full of change within the Church. It makes me excited for 2019 and President Nelson's second year of his service as prophet. Like he said in an interview at the end of October, "Wait till next year, and then the next year. Eat your vitamin pills. Get some rest. It's going to be exciting."

More Mission Curse

While today's strip is about as far away from a Christmas message as they come, I'd still like to wish all of you a very merry Christmas.

Frosty the Investigator

If I'm being honest, I've never much appreciated Frosty the Snowman as far as Christmas specials go. The artwork was kind of lame and the story bored me. Plus the hat really did belong to the magician guy who was then made out to be the bad guy.

Frosty doesn't even make my list of top five animated Christmas specials.* In fact, I'd even rank it lower than the insane He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special of my youth.

That He-Man special was so nuts that for the 15 or so years between first watching it and verifying its existence on the internet, I wasn't sure if the whole thing wasn't a strange dream my 10-year-old self cooked up.

Here's a quick synopses of the special as I remember it (and without an assist from Wikipedia--feel free to verify my summary on your own): Two little kids from our world are mysteriously transported into He-Man's world (either by Skeletor or Orko, I don't remember) there they learn the true meaning of Christmas, even though the holiday is typically only celebrated on earth. The show ends with the kids returning to earth and, I am not making this up, Skeletor getting hit in the face with a snowball.

To get a better sense of the madness that was the He-Man and She-Ra: A Christmas Special, check out some of the screen shots from the show. 

Needless to say, if I'm ranking He-Man over Frosty, my opinion of that show isn't great.

Thanks to faithful reader Jon F. for help with today's gag. 

*Here's my top five:
1. How the Grinch Stole Christmas (the original and best adaptation of the Dr. Seuss classic)
2. A Charlie Brown Christmas
3. Prep and Landing
4. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer
5. Toy Story That Time Forgot

The Mission Curse

Today's comic strip was a critical one in the history of Mission Daze. Once I decided to name Elder Van Dyke the mission curse, I knew that I'd have to come up with a unique way for each and every one of his companions to get "Dear Johned" while serving with him.

Gift of the Magi

"The Gift of the Magi" is a classic Christmas tale from the author O. Henry about a poor young couple who, unbeknownst to each other, give up their most prized possession to purchase a gift for each other. The twist at the end of the story is that the gift they give to each other is meant for that prized possession. So the husband receives a watch chain for the watch he sold to buy his wife a set of combs which are of no use for she cut her beautiful hair to afford the chain.

Except her hair will grow back. Within a couple of months, she'll be able to use the combs. And how much money did the chain cost anyway? Clearly not as much as the set of ornate combs. I mean a fancy pocket watch has got to fetch more than a head full of hair, right? As a kid, I hated this story for the perceived unfairness of it all. Although I always thought it was cool that O. Henry spent time in jail. I was a weird kid.

Broken Heart and a Contrite Spirit

Over the years I had to come up with a lot of ways to "Dear John" a missionary.

Sub for Santa

Sub for Santa means something a little different when you know him personally.

Umbrella

Today's strip is based on a true story. My companion did have a bargain umbrella that did break in the manner depicted in the strip. Only his umbrella came from his girlfriend who bought it for him prior to his mission. He was a little upset with her that day.

The Other Side's Bikes

Since this is a family website, I won't mention the name of the most famous motorcycle club in the world here. (If you're interested in finding out more about the group, you'll find their wikipedia article at this link.)

Rain

Growing up in a desert. I never appreciated how wet constant rain can be until I served a mission. As a missionary, I experienced rainy seasons that lasted weeks and months. And spending as much time as I did outside, I was wet for all of that time.

Thanksgiving Dinner Appointment

Today's gag represents my first ever attempt to draw an anthropomorphic bird on this blog. Apparently, there is some sort of law that in doing so, the bird shall remain pantless.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Thanksgiving Dinner

My first Thanksgiving dinner as a missionary was just about as bad as Elder Van Dyke's. We cooked some rice and poured a bottle of Uncle Ben's* sweet and sour chicken sauce on it. Cold. Without chicken.

We were not what you would call competent cooks.

*Strangely a series of Uncle Ben's sauces in a can were the only remotely American food on the shelves of Slovenia stores a couple of years after the fall of communism. These were followed shortly by Dairy Queen and McDonald's restaurants.

Yet Another Night of Open Mic in Ancient Israel

Several months ago, I published a gag featuring the worst stand up comedian in all of ancient Israel. Today I'm bringing him back. What does it say about me that I thoroughly enjoy coming up with these groan-worthy "jokes"? I'm serious, I think I might have missed my calling in life. If I had been born eighty years earlier, I might have been Henry Youngman or Milton Berle. And if I'd been born 3,080 years earlier, I might have been the guy featured in today's comic.

More Tracting Attitude

Today's strip is a continuation of last week's strip. I'd like to hope that Elders Meyer and Van Dyke weren't on that porch for seven days straight with those fake smiles plastered on their faces, but who knows?

Sealed in the Temple

In all my years, I've never considered any other possible imagery to "sealed in the temple" until  faithful reader Roslyn S. proposed today's gag. Thanks!

Tracting Attitude

This manner of positive thinking worked about as well for me on my mission as it does for Elders Meyer and Van Dyke in today's comic strip.

Secret and Secure Ballot

And you thought Halloween was scary. On Tuesday, it is Election Day in the United States! Lock your kids up and don't let them outside. (Unless they are 18 or older, then encourage them to get to the voting booth.)

Trick or Treat or Tracting

Halloween is not a great night for missionary work.

Marrow of My Bones

There are a handful of expressions popular in the Church that I'd like to phase out of our vernacular. "Marrow of my bones" and "every fiber of my being*" are at the top of my list. (Followed closely by "nourish and strengthen.") Today's gag features Elders Hammer and King getting in trouble after using one of our quirky sayings.

*Kevin Beckstrom covered this one just a couple of days ago in a joke quite similar to this one.

Soccer, er, Football

Can we all acknowledge that the United States has it wrong and the rest of the world has it right when it comes to the sport the U.S. refers to as soccer and the rest of the world rightly calls football?

I mean, in the game we call football a foot touches a ball in three different scenarios: kickoff, field-goal/extra point, or punt. And in one of those scenarios the team doing the kicking isn't happy. I suggest we cede the name football to soccer and call it something that better captures the sport. Something like, I don't know, concussion ball.

Hearts Failing

(Today's gag seems particularly pertinent, don't you think? This one was featured in the October 2018 issue of the New Era.)

It is proposed that the name of this website be changed to the Ward Cartoonist. All those in favor please manifest it in the comment section. Those opposed can also manifest in the comment section.

There were so many great suggestions for a new name to this site, I truly struggled up until late last night before I settled on Ward Cartoonist. Thank you to everyone who offered up suggestions.

And now for some housekeeping items:

• I've purchased the domain name wardcartoonist.com. Today it simply directs traffic to mormoncartoonist.com. Eventually, I hope to migrate all the content of this site to that domain then direct mormoncartoonist.com to wardcartoonist.com, but the takeaway is you can find my stuff at both mormoncartoonist.com and wardcartoonist.com.
• As I mentioned above, the decision of naming this blog was tough. Here are some names I seriously considered:
• Eight Cow Cartoonist. Ultimately, I opted not to go this route because I have a sneaky suspicion that Johnny Lingo is going to continue to age badly. Plus, I'd risk the sneer "Arie, you cartoons are ugly!"
• Cartoonist at Temple Square. Several clever readers suggested this name and I really like it, but I do more of my cartooning at my kitchen table than Temple Square. Plus, Temple Square already has a resident cartoonist.
• Ex-Mormon Cartoonist. It wasn't long before I realized this title might be a bit confusing.
• As always I am not the ward cartoonist, just a ward cartoonist. I do aspire, though, to someday become the stake cartoonist.

Waiting for the Mailman

Checking the mail was a highlight of my day as a missionary. Missionary work has improved in so many ways over the 20 plus years since I came home. But in this one thing, I doubt it will ever get better.

Thanks to everyone who has sent in suggestions to the rebranding of this website. You've given me a lot to think about. There are enough good ideas for a half dozen websites (if only I could supply the content to justify them).

The Blob

It is October, which means it is time to turn our gaze towards missionary work in the Transylvania Central Mission. Today's gag features some good old fashion member missionary work.

We can excuse Blob for using the old "Mormon" moniker to describe the Church. He's new and doesn't know any better. We can probably be a little less charitable to the publisher of this blog for his continued use of that name, which is why I'll be rolling out a new title for this website a week from today. The thing is, I'm still not sure what the replacement name of this site should be. I'm welcome to suggestions. Please leave your ideas in the comment section.

Alarm Clock Snooze Button

Wasn't General Conference amazing? It was full of great counsel and direction on ways to improve our life.

And as the proprietor of a website called Mormon Cartoonist, I realize that I have some work to do.*

 Here's the deal, on Thursday, October 18, I'll be updating the website with a brand new name. The thing is, though, I'm not sure what it is going to be quite yet. I'd welcome any suggestions.

*Honestly, I've known I have some work to do for a couple of months now, but like Elder Meyer in today's strip, I've been snoozing while an alarm has been going off.

General Conference Bingo

For nearly ten years on this blog I've had to deal with change after change after change in the Church which has resulted in a back catalog of gags and jokes becoming obsolete. Shoot, the very name of the blog is out of date now. It's an exciting time to be a Latter-day Saint, but it does make keeping a site that gently pokes fun at the Mormon Latter-day Saint culture difficult.

Today's gag represents a potential shift in my strategy for dealing with change. I just need to anticipate what changes the Church is going to make before it makes them. No problem, right? I mean we do believe in revelation after all.

How about  you? Any guesses as to what, if any, big announcements are coming this weekend at General Conference?

Alarm Clock

Is it possible to suffer PTSD from an alarm clock? A couple of years ago I moved from a traditional alarm clock to one that wakes me up with the gentle sound of birds chirping. And yet I still experience a deep unease whenever I hear the traditional alarm clock blare.

Broken Hearth

Today's gag works best if you read it in Dick Van Dyke's voice from Mary Poppins.

Speaking of Mary Poppins, what are your thoughts on the upcoming Mary Poppins sequel? I, for one, am a bit skeptical. Disney struck lighting in a bottle with the original which, despite his best efforts (The Happiest Millionaire, Bedknobs and Broomsticks), he never achieved again.

I will say this for the new movie, though, I am comforted in the fact that Van Dyke has at least a cameo in it. The man's a national treasure!

Today's gag comes from faithful reader Ryan V.

Your October 2018 General Conference Activity Packet

As easy as they are to prepare, missionaries can find a way to mess up even pancakes!

General Conference is now under two weeks away. It's time to start preparing for another weekend of spiritual feasting. You can start by downloading the Fall 2018 General Conference Activity Packet. Thanks to the translation work of Sara Mayer, Gabbi Herrera, and Dani Queiroz de Souza it is also available in French, Spanish, and Portuguese too!

Now, while I've got your attention, let me remind you of the other materials I have available should you want even more options to entertain your little ones during the General Conference broadcast:

Consider subscribing to the Mormon Cartoonist Activity Page Newsletter.  The Mormon Cartoonist Newsletter provides subscribers with a free activity page every Friday morning delivered to your inbox to download for sacrament meetings, Family Home Evenings, primary lessons, or General Conference. Did I mention that it's free? Sign up for it here.

If you have Apple products, you might be interested in any one of the fine iOS apps featuring my artwork: LDS Coloring Book, LDS Laughs, LDS Scripture Heroes, and Book of Mormon Adventure.

You can also go old school with one of my activity books available at discerning LDS bookstores: The Puzzle Book for LDS Kids and Now That I am Baptized.

And finally, don't forget about my collection of missionary comic strips. Mission Daze is perfect for the missionaries in your life!

Steak Dance

This joke has been done before I'm sure. Just remember: on this blog, you get what you pay for.

Halloween Fun

Given the fact that these comic strips I'm posting of Elder Van Dyke's mission are spread out a week at a time, I'll probably get around to his first Christmas about a year from now. It is just dumb luck that today and next week's Halloween-themed strips fall somewhat close to actual Halloween.

Junior Senior Companion

...Or maybe that's senior junior companion. At any rate, I realized last week with some chagrin that I have never as yet featured a gag or strip centered around senior missionaries. Today I rectify that gross oversight.

Slip of the Tongue

While visiting with one of my brothers a month ago, the topic of my body of work came up. I've published roughly 1,000 Latter-day Saint themed comics in the past 10 years. Of those, my brother specifically mentioned today's strip as one of his favorites.

(I like it too.)

Bishopric Prank

Hey, they've got to do something to entertain themselves to keep from falling asleep on the stand, right?

Sounds Like Home

A stereo system was a huge status symbol back in my day. It sure doesn't seem to be something teenagers today care about now days. With the growth of earbuds, listening to music has become much more of a private activity than it was 25 years ago.

Accountable

Between today's gag and last week's gag, it is clear that school is on my mind. I wonder what life will be like without the rhythms of the school year controlling my life. Outside of the first five years of fatherhood, my life has been dictated by school seasons.

Meanwhile, Back Home

When I left for my mission, I was sure my family was going to spend two years acting like Elder Van Dyke's mother. Imagine my surprise, then, when the first letters I received from my family were addressed from Lake Tahoe. Apparently, my parents had planned in secret a big vacation immediately after I entered the MTC.

1st Day of School

Would you believe that I have never posted to to social media a picture of a single child holding a sign that reads 1st Day of School. I'm sure child services will be knocking on my door any day now.

Of course, if the would-be hipster* in today's comic has his way, we'll all start posting pictures of children holding those signs much, much earlier.

*I was going for hipster, but I'm afraid my final product looks more like Mose from The Office.

Email from a Return Missionary

From time to time, I'd receive a letter from a previous mission companion who had since returned home. Inevitably the letter would include all the fun stuff that the onetime missionary was now doing with his newfound freedom. But deep down, I knew that if their post-mission life as great as they claimed then they wouldn't be writing me. As a missionary, I knew that they were secretly wishing they were in my shoes. Of course, I could have just been delusional.

What's in a Name?

Before I ever publish a gag on this website, it has to go through quality control. My wife is the final stay on what is or isn't blog worthy. Take today's gag, for example. When I tried this one out on her, it provoked a large groan. That was exactly what I was going for!

UPDATE: It looks like the Mormon Tabernacle Choir might be getting a new name after all. Not since I made a joke about the Enrichment program and the Church immediately renamed it has one of my gags been so timely.

Ultimate Sales Pitch

When I returned home from my mission, there was no part of me that wanted to sell pest control, security alarms, or whatever else stuff returned missionaries often find themselves hawking. I had just spent two years going door to door with the ultimate sales pitch and facing a lot more rejection than acceptance. Why would I ever want to try selling some far inferior product?*

*This is no knock on the various pest control systems, security alarms, or sets of knives other returned missionaries where selling; but compared to the everlasting gospel, they just didn't cut it.

Abraham and Isaac

I imagine that it would take some time before Abraham and Isaac's relationship would ever approach something normal. And it was probably true that Isaac would have been able to inflict quite a guilt trip on his dad should the need arise for the rest of his life.

It is also probably true that Isaac had servants that would have cleaned up his room for him making this comic completely inaccurate.

Bilingual

Today's strip comes from a story my trainer shared with me many, many years ago. Apparently this very thing happened to a couple of missionaries in my mission a couple of months before I arrived. I love it when I don't have to put any work into these things!

Top of the Mountain

A couple of years ago, I tagged along on a high adventure camp. We spent several days at the base of a rather large mountain. Cell service was pretty much non-existent. But, after climbing to the top of the mountain we discovered to our joy that emails, texts, and voicemails that we weren't able to access before were suddenly available again.

Had the young men on that camp known what was waiting for them at the top of that hike, we would have made it in half the time.

Not the Spirit

As often as this kind of stuff happens with the Elders, I've heard more stories from Sister missionaries experience these kind of awkward exchanges. (As well as the occasional marriage proposal.)

Fast Sunday Scriptures

Some scripture passages are better skipped on fast Sundays.

Mail Call

I've commented on all this before on this website, but I can't imagine that pulling  up your email once a week compares to the thrill of checking the mailbox every day. It was such a rush finding a letter waiting for you after a long day of missionary work that you never expected. I recognize the value in receiving instant communication that comes with email, but I can't imagine it is quite as fun as mail was back in the day.

Square Dancing

After another trek earlier this summer, my wife and I are now three-time survivors. (Do it a couple of more times and we'll have traveled as far on a hand cart as the pioneers!)

At every one of the treks we've been on, the organizers have planned a night of square dancing for the kids. This week's gag was inspired from that fact.*

*It is not inspired from this gag from my fellow Mormon cartoonist and friend, Kevin Beckstrom. If only he wasn't so prolific, I might have beat him to the punch!

The Start of the Curse

Early on in the creation of Elder Van Dyke and his mission I decided that he would be a mission curse in that every one of his mission companions would get "dear Johned" while serving with him. At first this seemed like a good idea. I just never anticipated how challenging it would be to come up with a dozen different ways for a missionary to get dumped.