3PO at a Loss

As a young missionary, I met a fellow cartoonist in the MTC. As we bonded over our love of silly pictures, we hatched a crazy idea. Over the course of our mission, we would co-create a comic book. 

Here's how it worked: one month, I would illustrate two pages and then mail them to Elder Lindseth. The next month, he would illustrate the next two pages of the story and mail them to me. Over the course of our mission, the two of us crafted a 40-page story that bobbed and weaved all over the place as we were constantly trying to place each other in impossible situations.

It was an incredibly fun way to create a low-stakes comic book (one that will never come close to being published).

It is a terrible way to run a $100 million tentpole movie franchise.

Remarkable, Disney didn't bother plotting out a three picture trilogy when they bought Star Wars from George Lucas. Instead, they set out to make The Force Awakens and then hired a completely different creative team to come up with The Last Jedi and then brought back the creative team from The Force Awakens to create The Rise of Skywalker. The result was tonal whiplash from movie to movie. Watching it all, I couldn't help but wonder if Elder Lindseth and I could have come up with something better.

Pew-Pew-Pew

If you ever played with Star Wars action figures or imagined yourself firing a blaster like Han Solo then you get today's gag. If you haven't, I'm not sure I can explain it to you.

Walt Disney has now been in the Star Wars business for just over a decade. Over that time, they've released twice as many movies and live-action television shows than George Lucas did in the 35 years he controlled the franchise. With so much content in such a short period of time, it isn't surprising that the quality of the product has wildly varied. Here is one guy's ranking of the Disney Star Wars stuff (your opinion may vary--in fact, I'd be disappointed if it didn't):

1. Andor - This is right up there with Empire Strikes Back for me. I rewatched it recently to get ready for the second season and it was every bit as good the second time through.
2. The Mandalorian - Where the upcoming Mandalorian and Grogu movie ultimately ranks in this list depends on whether it is more like season one (which I loved) or season three (which I hated).
3. The Force Awakens - Watching this in a giant movie theater opening weekend was one of the most fun times I've had as a moviegoer. Sure it is a retread of A New Hope, but it is still a lot of fun.
4. Rogue One - Definitely helped in these rankings by its association with Andor. I look forward to watching it again once I've seen all of Andor season 2.
5. Skeleton Crew - So much fun. Basically Goonies in space.
6. Solo - This was another fun one for me. Plus, Han Solo might be my favorite character in all of fiction. 
7. The Last Jedi - This is were the treads start to show when it comes to Disney's Star Wars output. I liked the movie well enough, but it sure left the saga in a weird place.
8. Obi-Wan Kenobi - I've read that this show was originally going to be a movie. That might explain some of the pacing issues. Still there were some awesome parts. I especially loved the lightsaber duel between Kenobi and Vader (although it does beg the question, what happened in the ten years between this show and A New Hope that sapped all of Kenobi and Vader's dueling capabilities).
9. Asoka - This felt really slow (but not the good kind of slow like Andor). I hope the second season gives us more action.
10. Acolyte - I really wanted to like this one, but I never was able to get myself totally into it.
11. The Book of Boba Fett - I'm sure when Disney hired Robert Rodriguez to create a television show about Boba Fett, the baddest man in the galaxy, they thought they had hired the creator behind Machete, Desperado, and From Dusk Till Dawn. Instead they got the creator of Spy Kids, Shorts, and Shark Boy and Lava Girl. The show was only interesting when Mando and Baby Yoda made an appearance. 
12. The Rise of Skywalker - Ugh. I had a bad feeling about this before it came out and it was every bit as bad as I feared it would be. How bad? I might just watch Attack of the Clones before I'd watch this again.*

*Who am I kidding? I'd gouge my eyes out before watching either of those movies.

Star Wars Week: Episode III

Once again, I'm dedicating a week to Star Wars themed strips and gags. This is the third episode of Star Wars Week (thus by Star Wars logic, the sixth such week*). It also represents the last of these weeks I'll be publishing. (Look for a multi-national entertainment conglomerate to buyout this website and publish a bunch more of these in a decade's time.) In addition to Thursday's regularly scheduled post, I'll also share a post on Friday.

I've resurrected this long dormant feature to celebrate the return of the best thing Disney has done with Star Wars: the excellent TV show Andor!

Thursday, I'll post my ranking of Star Wars stuff from Disney. I'm not sure what I'll write about Friday, like Disney (and their handling of the movies) I'm making this up as I go without any foresight or planning.

*View all the Star Wars Weeks in order like so: Episode IV, Episode V, Episode VI, Episode I, and Episode II. Or you can try the Machete Order (Episode IV, V, II, III, VI).

Of Middle Earth and Missionary Work

(Clearly this strip was drawn before Elder Uchtdorf gave this talk.) As long as our missionary force includes primarily young men and women, we'll continue to compare popular culture with the gospel. 

Perhaps the best use of this technique I heard of was from a returned missionary who served in Japan. In his mission, his mission president gave the missionaries permission to share portions of Disney's The Little Mermaid with investigators who struggled with the basic tenants of Christianity. That movie demonstrates a father's love and his willingness to sacrifice for a wayward child in a way that seemed to help crystalize the role of Jesus Christ in the plan of salvation.

This is the Way

Who's excited for the return of The Mandalorian? New episodes start streaming tomorrow!

In my opinion, The Mandalorian is the best Star Wars property since the Lego Star Wars video game or possible Empire Strikes Back. Here's hoping that the second season was as good as the first (and that Temuera Morrison is playing Captain Rex and not Boba Fett).

Today's gag comes from the fertile mind of Elder V. (who is demonstrating his commitment to the gospel by postponing his viewing of The Mandalorian by months while he completes his missionary service.)

Star Wars' Past

If the trailer to Rise of Skywalker is to be believed somehow Emperor Palpatine is still somehow alive--30 plus years after Darth Vader threw him down a Death Star shaft. Let's hope he spent that time taking care of his severe eczema.

If Palpatine ends up being the ultimate bad guy in this set of trilogies it might ultimately be appropriate in the sense that Lucas' original plans for a nine-movie Star Wars epic would have concluded with a final battle with Palpatine in Episode IX. According to something I read online some twenty years ago,* the story goes that Lucas hyped a nine-movie series before Empire Strikes Back, but then got burned out after Empire and decided to wrap everything up in Return of the Jedi. (The fact that Lucas ended his story after Episode VI explains why the new trilogy is a little disjointed from the original trilogy--I mean, what else can you do with a story that already ended with a happily ever after with Ewok dancing on Endor?)

It's interesting that while The Mandalorian is forward looking, The Rise of Skywalker with its Palpatine and Lando Calrissian's cape appears to be backward looking. Here's hoping it is a fitting ending to this chapter in the Star Wars universe.

*So you know this must be true.

The Future of Star Wars

Are you watching The Mandalorian?* Despite the titled character's lack of parental skills, we are loving it at my house. This show, more than anything else coming out of Star Wars since Disney purchased Lucasfilm a couple of years ago, has me convinced that the future of Star Wars is bright.

While I've enjoyed every Star Wars movie Disney has produced (and I'm really hoping I like Rise of Skywalker), I have been a little concerned how they all seem to center upon the original three movies. There are only so many stories that can be mind from the original trilogy. The Mandalorian--and it's huge success--shows that Star Wars needn't return again and again to the Skywalker family. I look forward to the weird and wild stories still to be told.

*Or as we call it at my home: The Baby Yoda Show with Special Guest Star Mando.

Star Wars Week: Episode II

Of all the Star Wars movies out there (and there are a lot these days), my least favorite is Episode II: Attack of the Clones. Leading up to it's release, we were promised a correction from all the mistakes of the first one. Instead we got Anakin complaining about sand and baby Boba.*

This week, in honor of Rise of the Jedi, is Star Wars Week: Episode II** here at the Ward Cartoonist website. Given the parallels, this might be the worst collection of comics and commentary I've ever presented on this website. You can judge for yourself. I'll be publishing my regular schedule this week as well as an extra gag on Friday. May the force be with you. (I've got a bad feeling about this.)

*One hundred percent less cute than baby Yoda.

 **By Star Wars logic, that would make it the fifth such week. You can view all of the previous week's here.

Jedi Mind Tricks

I love pretending to be a Jedi. I can't help but make the little swishing movement every time I approach a store front with automatic doors.

Book of Mormon: Dagobah Edition

Let's tackle one of the longest-lasting and persistent Mormon myth out there, shall we? Was Star Wars' Yoda based on President Spencer W. Kimball?

First consider these facts.

1. Yoda was introduced in 1980's The Empire Strikes Back. The year 1980 happens to correspond with President Kimball's presidency.
2. One of the quotes that President Kimball is famous for is "do it." One of the quotes that Yoda is famous for is "do or do not, there is no try."
3. President Kimball was a diminutive man with ears that protruded slightly farther from his head than most. Yoda was a diminutive Muppet with giant ears.
   

Given those facts it is understandable that Mormons would so quickly jump onto the theory that Yoda was inspired by President Kimball. Here's the thing, though, no one involved in Empire Strikes Back has ever claimed that to be the case. Instead they credit Albert Einstein (another wise old man) as the inspiration behind Yoda's look.

So while we Mormons can't claim Yoda as one of our own, we can at least take comfort in the fact that he'd most likely like 1 Nephi 3:7.

Ball of Curious Workmanship

Growing up I had two sci-fi loves: Star Wars and Star Trek. And while Star Wars is now larger than ever (a new movie every year with television, comics, and books a plenty), Star Trek is in a serious rut. And while this week's posts are celebrating Star Wars, I wanted to take a moment to bemoan the current state of my other sci-fi love.

Sure the new Star Trek movies have been a lot of fun, but as for the TV side of things there is only a show available on a paid streaming service that nobody subscribes to and (even more egregious) is rated MA (the TV equivalent of an R rating). On top of that, there is talk that Quentin Tarantino is developing an R rated Star Trek movie. Now Quentin Tarantino might have the coolest idea ever for a movie, but a hard R rated show featuring all the swears, excessive violence, and whatever else he's got planned isn't Star Trek.

Instead of introducing Star Trek to a new generation of fans (like Star Wars has been doing), the creative team behind Star Trek is looking to rebrand it as something more edgy and cool while limiting it's appeal to an older crowd. The problem is that if you replace the hopeful geekiness of Star Trek with edgy violence, it's no longer Star Trek.

Tomorrow I'll write about Star Wars, I promise.

Star Wars Week: Episode I

After three critically acclaimed Star War weeks, I'm back for more. In honor of the Last Jedi, I'm running three posts this week all centered around Star Wars. Look for the regularly scheduled Thursday post later this week as well as a special Friday post!

Now if I were doing this right, today's strip wouldn't feature Elder Van Dyke but an excerpt from his father's mission, just before he turned to the dark side and began drinking caffeinated drinks or something. Instead, I'm just publishing another Van Dyke rerun today. But look on the bright side: there also is zero chance of a Jar Jar Binks sighting this week.

Hieing to Kolob in a Bucket of Bolts

Here's the one thing that I think the prequels lacked that, if Lucas would have found a way to fit into the movies, would have improved them greatly: a Han Solo type character. Everyone was so serious* in episodes I-III that it became somewhat of a chore to get through.**

One of the reasons I'm so excited for the Force Awakens--disregarding any apprehension I may have expressed in my last post--is the return of Han Solo (and, based on the trailers, I also suspect there will be another Han Solo type character found in the movie). Really, when you think about it, the secret to the extremely crowd-pleasing Guardians of the Galaxy is that someone finally made a space opera where Han Solo was the chief protagonist.

*Let's all just agree to ignore Jar Jar Binks here, okay? The less said about Lucas' attempt at humor in The Phantom Menace, the better.

**I should know, several weeks ago, I proposed to my children we rewatch all six movies to get us ready for The Force Awakens, only to loose interest after Attack of the Clones (my personal least favorite***).

***If you care, my personal rankings would be: 1) Empire, 2) New Hope, 3) Revenge, 4) Return, 5) Menace, and 6) Clones. I won't consider The Force Awakens a success unless it cracks the top three.

Never Mind, Obi-Wan

I'm really excited to see the new Star Wars movie. I've been heartened to see that the reviews to the movie have been overwhelmingly positive. (Granted, I haven't actually read any of those reviews for fear of being spoiled concerning the movie.) But there is one thing that has been troubling me concerning the Force Awakens.*

At the end of Return of the Jedi; Luke, Leia, Han, and their friends are enjoying the fruits of a hard-fought victory over the Empire. Their victory over evil seems earned too. Over the course of three movies, they suffered plenty. Luke lost a hand and watched both a father figure and his actual father die before his eyes, Leia was witness to the genocide of her home planet, Han was frozen in carbonite, and Lando seems to have lost that sweet cape he was rocking in Empire Strikes Back.

And now the Force Awakens seems to have reset everything. The good guys are still a ragtag band of rebels fighting and evil empire (with storm troopers and everything). I realize they're going by different names in the new movie, but the idea is the same. So what changed after the battle of Endor? Were all of the sacrifices of Luke, Leia, and Han for nothing?

I've got a bad feeling about this...

Tune in tomorrow for more ramblings about a galaxy far, far away.

*Here's the disclaimer that I offer every time I post one of these: be aware that things are going to get geeky. If that's not your thing, you are under no obligation to read this through to the end.

Star Wars Week: Episode VI

It is a time of great confusion. Children (and adult cartoonists) are usually anticipating Christmas presents, eggnog, and candy plumbs dancing in their heads (whatever those are); but this year there is a great disturbance in their holiday cheer. With the latest Star Wars movie opening a mere week before Christmas, they don't know what to celebrate.

Meanwhile, one intrepid Mormon Cartoonist has decided to celebrate Star Wars this week and Christmas next. He will be publishing not two, but three Star Wars-themed comics to honor the occasion on Monday, Thursday, and Friday; thus completing his trilogy of Star Wars weeks (find Episode IV and Episode V here).

The Unsung Hero of Star Wars

At the end of Revenge of the Sith Yoda, Obi Wan, and Jimmy Smits (from here on out we'll call him Bail Organa) are plotting where to go next. Yoda announces that he and Obi Wan will lay low for a couple of years before rising up and stomping out the Emperor and his regime. Yoda wants nothing to do with Anakin Skywalker's newborn children because a) he figures that by the time they would be of any use of him, he'll have already defeated Palpatine and b) he doesn't expect much from the offspring of Darth Vader anyway. The kids are split up with Organa adopting Leia and Obi Wan returning Luke to Tatooine and the only family the Skywalkers have. Strangely, no one thinks to change Luke's name or even pretend that Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru are his biological parents.

Anyway, Yoda and Obi Wan go into hiding and it isn't long before they abandon any hopes they have of overthrowing the Emperor. By the time we met Obi Wan and Yoda in Star Wars and Empire Strikes Back, they are world weary old men who have given up on any dreams of saving the galaxy. I suspect their funk has something to do with the return of Darth Vader--someone Obi Wan left for dead.

Fortunately for the rebel alliance, Bail Organa did not given up on the cause. He worked tirelessly for 20 years to take Palpatine down and it's his actions that reengage Kenobi and Yoda. At the beginning of Star Wars, Organa has sent his adopted daughter Princess Leia on a mission to recruit Obi Wan while delivering some stolen plans to some of his rebel friends. Had Organa never done this, Kenobi would have been content to remain a strange hermit on Tatooine the remainder of his days, Yoda never would have trained another Jedi on Dagobah, and Luke would have grown up a moisture farmer complaining about the Tosche Station and power converters.

Bail Organa is the unsung hero of the Star Wars series and his reward is being blown up on Alderaan when the Death Star strikes. Sometimes the force isn't fair.

The Problem with the Star Wars Prequels

I've already gone on record as stating that the prequels were not a total waste. That said, there are certainly big problems with them. My biggest problem with the prequels has nothing to do with Jar Jar Binks or the acting of Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen (although those were definitely bad), but with the fact that the prequels created more questions then they answered.

When I dreamed of Episodes I, II, and III during the dark days between 1983 and 1999, the questions I wanted answered were: 1) what were the clone wars (Answer: Boba Fett's clone brothers verses an army of bumbling robots--lame!) and 2) how did Darth Vader become Darth Vader (Answer: Obi Wan chopped him up on a volcano planet--something we all knew as early as the late 70s). I never wondered about Boba Fett's father or Midi-chlorians. I'm convinced that everything could have been wrapped up in one, much more satisfying movie.

The prequels created a bunch of questions that just don't jive with what we know from the original trilogy. To wit:

1. Why doesn't Obi Wan recognize R2 D2?
2. Why doesn't R2 recognize Obi Wan or, for that matter, simply relay to Luke everything he knows about the Jedi Order, his parents, and the Emperor?
3. Why doesn't Chewbacca stand up for Jedi-kind and his dear friend Yoda when Han bags on them?
4. How does Leia have any memories of her mother when she dies ten seconds after Leia's birth?
5. Speaking of Amidala, how did she go from being a strong-minded Senator and droid fighter to someone who dies of a broken heart even though she knows she has two children to care for?
6. How does Vader become a Jedi ghost when it's established that the only Jedi who knew how to do that prior to Yoda and Obi Wan was Qui Gon Jin?

But my biggest unanswered question from the prequels is this: What was Yoda's plan to take back the galaxy from the Emperor? Because it sure couldn't have been the events that transpired within the original trilogy. If Yoda's plan was to let Luke and Leia overthrow the Empire then why not take the twins with him to the force-shielding planet Dagobah and train them up into awesome Sith-killing Jedi? I've spent an unhealthy amount of time* on that question in the years since Revenge of the Sith premiered and I believe I have an answer to that question. One that I will share tomorrow.

*This is obvious based on the ridiculous length of today's post.

It's Star Wars Week: Episode V*

Thirty-five years ago this Memorial Day weekend, a little movie premiered in North America and changed cinema forever. The story of a brave band of rebels sticking it to an oppressive authority captured the hearts and minds of a nation and would inspire a number of sequels. But enough about Smokey and the Bandit, I want to celebrate the other movie that opened that weekend: Star Wars.
To honor the 35th anniversary of Star Wars, I'll be posting Star Wars-themed gags this week. And because Star Wars is such an awesome thing, I'll be posting an extra comic of the week Friday, in addition to Thursday's regularly scheduled post.

*This is actually only the second Star Wars week on this blog. (You can find the first one here and here.) I'm calling this one Episode V because I retroactively changed the title to my first Star Wars week to Episode IV. My plan is to do another one of these in a couple of years, calling it Episode VI. Then I'll wait something like 20 years before I pump out the far inferior episodes I, II, and III. It will be awesome!

No, There is Another

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of The Empire Strikes Back, I'm posting two Star Wars themed gags today. These two coupled with the one on Monday make three, which is the number of movies George Lucas should have stopped at*.

Here I imagine what life would have been like had two of Star Wars' most nasty villains been Mormon.Hopefully, by posting an extra comic today, I've atoned for my failure to recognize Empire's true anniversary last week. And I'll try not to blow it in the future. Rest assured I won't forget to commemorate the 13th anniversary of the George Clooney classic Batman and Robin later this summer.

*I'm not one of those fans that thinks the prequel was a total waste. I recognize a lot of good came from the three newer movies. For example, we were introduced to a bunch of cool, new characters; Revenge of the Sith was a pretty fun movie; and (most importantly) the prequels introduced Star Wars to a whole new generation of fans. That said, Lucas' reputation would have been better served had he not tried to stretch one movie's worth of material into three.

Star Wars Week Starts Now

Inexplicity, I failed to acknowledge the thirtieth anniversary of the premier of The Empire Strikes Back last week on this blog. (I know, I know, inexcusable, right? While my membership to geek nation hasn't been revoked it is in suspension.)

To make up for my gross oversight, I am dedicating this week on the blog to all things Star Wars. It's my way of offering penance for failing to give possibly the greatest movie of all time* the respect it deserves.

(Yes, I am aware that today's strip is a rerun, but like the original trilogy--this is a strip you can revisit time and time again.)

*The only other possible "greatest movie of all time" is Raiders of the Lost Ark**. Not only did Empire Strikes Back have Han Solo at the apex of his coolness, but it also had Darth Vader at his most menacing. Plus, they threw in the totally awesome character of Boba Fett, for good measure.

**It is impossible to express how well the careers of George Lucas and Harrison Ford were progressing in 1981. With their participation in Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, and Raiders of the Lost Ark back to back to back; they created enough goodwill to last several lifetimes. It's amazing, then, that these two have managed to ruin all that goodwill over the past three decades. I guess it just goes to show you the negative power of Jar Jar Binks and nuked fridges.