Not Quite Boy Scout Camp

Let's be honest, no one cared about the merit badges at these camps, they were only interested in burning things.

Boy Scout Taps

There was a time when I thought a lot about Boy Scouts. I was regularly coming up with scouting jokes that I hoped the New Era would publish. An if that magazine wouldn't print them, I could always post them onto this website. Out of this little practice came an almost unhealthy obsession to see a pinewood derby gag published in the New Era--which was finally realized in March, 2011.

Needless to say, this blog has seen a lot of Boy Scout gags published over the years. Today, you are looking at likely* the last scouting joke ever to be featured on the Ward Cartoonist website. So, please, if you've got one, put your bugle to your lips and play a rendition of taps.**

*There are still two scouting gags I sold to the New Era years ago. I suppose there's a chance that magazine could publish one or both of them before the end of the year (although I doubt it).

**Given the somberness that should exist for such an event, a kazoo would work too.

End of an Era

In case you are living under a rock, the Church made some news last week.

This might be a Mormon Corridor issue, but one thing I won't miss about Boy Scouts is the ridiculous over-the-top Eagle court of honors. I've been to a number of those meetings with various birds of prey circling over our heads. This is a game of oneupmanship, that I have no interest in playing. When my son earned his Eagle last year, my wife and I told him the closest he'd get to a court of honor bird show was a Papier-mâché eagle hanging from the ceiling with a string. He wisely declined our offer.

Honestly, I'm kind of sad to see scouting go. And it's not because of the loss of character building camp outs and skill learning merit badges, it's because Boy Scouts made up roughly 20 percent of the gags on this website. As Kevin Beckstrom so aptly depicted, this is a dark time for Mormon cartoonists. First high priest groups, then home teaching, and now scouting. If the Church outlaws green jell-o, I'm retiring!

Credit to faithful reader Steve B. for the idea for today's gag.

Young Women Theme

If you've every been in a Young Women's meeting or activity, you have a sense of how impressive it is to hear a group of Young Women recite the Young Women Theme.

Hyperactive Boy Scouts

We are smack dab in the middle of scout camp season. We really should appreciate the efforts of the scout masters whose job it is to corral wild 12 and 13-year-olds.

E for Exit

Given the news of the last week, I pretty much had to publish a Boy Scout gag today, didn't I?

Youth Leaders' Complaint

I wonder sometimes if the youth of the Church realize what kind of sacrifices their leaders make to take them on the myriad of camps and activities over the years. I know I didn't when I was their age.

Quartermaster

For those of you not familiar with the term, a quartermaster is in charge of a troop's supplies and equipment.* It's just another term the boy scouts have stolen from the military.

*Or in the case of a trip to the arcade; tokens, quarters, and other credits needed to play a game.

High Adventure

I realize school has already started for most kids, but the calendar still says August, blast it! With that said, I'm going to ignore reality and publish one more decidedly summer gag. This is a sentiment expressed a number of times during our high adventure camp this summer.

Hard Things

I assume most members in the United States are aware that the Church's partnership with boy scouts is suddenly looking tenuous. And while much of the response to this news has been excitement from members tired of tracking merit badges and rank advancements, it has left me filling rather sorry. (And not just because it will eliminate a particular rich vein of humor to draw from.)

While I'm not much of a scouter myself, I recognize its value in the lives of the boys the scouting program touches. Earlier this summer, I went with the varsity and venture scouts (14-17 year olds) in my ward on a 50-mile hike. It was grueling, hard work--probably the toughest thing I've ever done physically. But it was great for the boys and the men they dragged through those mountains. We learned we could do hard things, something that will absolutely serve the boys--and their leaders--in the years to come.

There was nothing particular about that five-day, 50-mile hike that was uniquely scouting, but I worry that activities like that will become less frequent outside of scouting. But more importantly, the Boy Scout program provided a place where boys who neither belonged to the Church or no longer attended could get to know the LDS boys in their neighborhood and build bridges.

I have no doubt that the Church will be able to replace the scouting program with something that will meet the needs of the young men should it come to that. And I will support the Church in whatever direction we go. But should we leave it behind, I will miss the scouting program.

Bald Eagle Project

Here's a patriotic gag for a 4th of July weekend.

Scouting for Food

A quick Google search tells me that "Scouting for Food" isn't necessarily a thing everywhere and it definitely doesn't happen this weekend everywhere. But in my neighborhood, the Boy Scouts will be picking up bags of canned food off of folks porches to donate it to the local food bank this Saturday morning.

Bear One Another's Burdens

There's a difference between bearing one another's burdens and becoming a pack mule.

New Merit Badges

For a upcoming scout camp this summer, adults in our ward were asked to review the 131 current merit badges and select one that they could serve as merit badge adviser. Looking through the list, I was disheartened to find just how useless my, um, skill set is. There currently is no merit badge on popular culture trivia, cookie tasting, or even cartooning. This naturally inspired today's gag.

If you were in charge of approving merit badges, what would be the first new badge you'd approve?

Video Game Merit Badge

In the past, I've had to verify through a little internet research that a ridiculous premise wasn't, in fact, a reality. For ideas like YouTube seminary and texting lessons from the Young Women, I spent a little time making sure that they didn't really exist.

For today's gag, I never bothered doing any such research because I figured there was no possible way it could be true. Imagine my surprise when between the interim of when I submitted this gag to the New Era and when the New Era ran it that the Boy Scouts went and created a Video Game merit badge for Cub Scouts.

I haven't looked closely at what a Cub Scout would have to do to earn this, but I'm pretty sure some of those requirements include:

• Carry on a one-sided conversation with an uninterested party regarding a video game that lasts no shorter than three (3) hours.
• Develop a thumb calloused thick enough to withstand a pin prick.
• Go five (5) minutes without blinking while staring at the screen.
• Recite twenty (20) video game-related one-liners and use them in the context of killing a video game bad guy.
• Successfully convince a parent to purchase the newest video game consul using persuasive argument skills.

What do you think? Did I miss any?

Anatomy of a Gag

Sometimes a gag will come to me fully formed. Sometimes I'll get a spark of an idea that I will have to massage for a while until I like it enough to draw it. Sometimes I'll sketch out an idea that doesn't quite work, leave it alone for months or years, and then return to it with new eyes and find a way to make it work. (And most of the times, my ideas are so bad that end up discarding them forever without seeing the light of day.)

The gag above came fully formed and I liked it well enough to draw it when something unusual happened: I revisited a fully formed gag after it's completion. The result being that I came up with something new that I like much more. See if you don't agree below.
My problem with the original gag is the unlikelihood that a Cub Den would serve up something "green and mold" at a Blue and Gold Banquet. I mean, even the most disorganized Den would serve something better than that--like Little Caesars five buck pizza, for example.* But a Scout Troop, on a camp out, in a crock-pot: that I could totally see.

*I speak from experience. Little Caesars five buck pizza is exactly what our Den served a couple of years ago.

Friends of Scouting

We're right in the thick of the Friends of Scouting drive season. If you're lucky, the scouts have already visited your home. If not, you can always try the tactic displayed in today's gag.*

*Full disclosure: I tried this very line and just got a bunch of blank stares from the scouts at my door. In the end, I ended up contributing like I always do.**

**Fuller disclosure: this is the point in a post like this where I point out that my tongue is firmly in my cheek and that sometimes I exaggerate for the sake of humor on this blog.***

***Fullest disclosure: I'm being very generous when I call anything on this blog humorous.

A Scout is Clean

With summer winding down, there's just enough time for one last boy scout camp joke.
Today's gag comes courtesy of faithful reader Dana W. who swears* that this isn't based on her own son.

*As far as I know, she doesn't really swear.

One Last Boy Scout Camp for the Year

Looks like there is just enough summer left for one last boy scout camp gag this year.

Boy Scout First Aid

You know, I think I might trust a troop of overzealous Boy Scouts to perform first aid on me. At the very least they wouldn't miss anything.

Provided, of course, that no tourniquets are involved.